- rain -

the unrelenting tears that wield a mystery call my heart. teardrops mingled with raindrops that bring indescribable feelings. words that flow through my heart with unspeakable veracity. a fear of failure, the glow of embarrassment, the childishness and immaturity. joy and astonishment are a thing of the past. my mind wanders to a different day.

everything was new and good - the world a bright and cheerful space. bewilderment and awe were the daily discoveries. calloused and jaded is my mind. or perhaps my heart. love lost and then found and then lost again. friends that humiliate and disappoint. failures brought to life and light and the proof that i can do no right.

rain that tries to drown my sorrows but only succeeds in bringing truth. i am a mortal and but a flicker on this great earth. a moment in this lifetime and quickly fleeting. pressing on towards the unachievable goal. a firefly with no more flying, whose flickering fades and then peters out. a gasp of breath from a dying man's bed.

the hope that clings to life itself and then floats gently back down to earth like the flight of a feather. what then? does mere existence give birth to a greater journey? a plan & a future - shining brightly like the sun. joy intertwined with pain - does it have to be this way?

will i ever learn to dream and chase it? stop turning from that faithful hand that stands open and ready? plunge into the deep end of life and learn to swim one stroke at a time. learn to dive and soar, just as the eagles take flight. hear the purr of a kitten and the croak of a frog. remember delight and wonderment around every corner & as far as the eye can see. chase gloom into a thing of the past & wish on bright stars of the future.

return to the loving arms of the father who never forsakes or condemns. who loves me as i am. no less, no better, just me. if i whisper His name again will he hear me?

- written by amber marie