Out with the Olde

As I am celebrating my 27th birthday (with the best of friends, I might add) I believe it is time to find center again. I've allowed myself to stray off course and deviate from the plans that I know I want to strive towards. Setting my heart aside for the wonderful man that God has for me and not giving it away to someone who is not deserving of all the beauty. Pursuing my passion and reveling in the English language and traveling. Pouring my heart out on paper and not being afraid to express my true self in words.
Last night I snuck in to see 500 Days of Summer by my lonesome and walked out with a slaphappy smile on my face. The movie is inspired. The photography, the lighting, the way the story catches your attention in the smallest of ways and reminds you that true romance is at the heart of life. Romance is more than simple attraction between a man and woman. It's about looking at that other person and seeing all their faults and all their wonderfulness and making the choice to open up your soul to them. Whether they hurt you or take you in and love you in return. And if that means tears or pain or wonderful belly laughs; whatever that means. You do it. Of course you want that love and trust returned. That's when the romance is sparked. But if not, life does go on. There is indeed an Autumn after the Summer.
I love writing. It's an important part of who I am.
For all of you doing soul-searching; take that leap of faith too. Don't give up your dreams.

Back in Black

It's been a hot minute. Long enough for me to miss connecting my thoughts on this 'piece of paper' and being able to get them out and set them free. Oh blog, how I've missed thee.

House sitting for the Burnettes & Daisy Mae. Ready for K&W to get home! Lovin' the Hyundai in the meantime ;) (Kidding, I'm driving the Prelude that is rapidly turning their driveway into an oil slick).

Here's to missing my friends all around the world. Some in Canada, Tejas, Florida, Colorado, Oregon, China & Aussieland.

Love-n-hugs,
me (more soon to follow)

Joshua Radin

"Star Mile"

Oh doubt in the girl by your side
She's feeding your pride
As you go for a ride
Down the Star Mile

Worlds arise as she lets you come in
A duo begins
To the Hollywood Inn
Of the lonely

And all the gold dust in her eyes won't reform into rain
You hadn't lost the one thing
You kept in a safe place
Remember the face
Of the girl who had made you her own
And how you left her alone

All's well at the base of the hill
You might need to fill
A prescription to kill
Off the silence.

Look down from your tower on high
And take in the night
Look her right in the eye
She'll listen

And all the gold dust in her eyes won't reform into rain
You hadn't lost the one thing
You kept in a safe place
Remember the face
Of the girl who had made you her own
And how you left her alone

Life goes to those that are true
The regular news
Over playing the blues
With the light on

And if you burn the road
That'll lead you back to her in time
I watch you turn to stone
You can't find the sunlight

She's moving on without you
The tide breaks
You watch the stars fade
They gather you back to their home
I guess it's better than being alone

Oriental & "The Bean"

"how many still waters can yield a single night of stillness & how many green pastures, wide as deserts, can yield the quiet of a single hour. how many valleys of the shadow of death do we need to be a compassionate shade in the unrelenting sun." --quote found on "The Bean"'s coffee shop wall

JGC

just for today
to spend my time with you
just for today
to feel safe in your presence
a newness & wonder
to forget my hurt and pain
and smile
into your eyes of blue & green.
to forget why I do anything but breathe
when you are near me.
sunlite flickers from the tip of your nose
as I breathe you in next to me
shadows dance across the halls
but you stand close by me.
your eyes glossy with the undelivered promise of hope
the scars on your wrists snap me back to reality
the reasons we are here
the reasons we still breathe
next to one another
how can I learn to trust another and burden them with my uncertainty?
surely this can't be the end - all for nothing?
you lie in the arms of another
and I am left to ponder all of life's mysteries
alone.
strength is a promise not easily delivered.
I pray for it for you tonite.
sweet dreams and the strength to face tomorrow standing firm
I watch others drain away and my heart quickens at the thought of you
you are my angel, just for now.
my Gabriel, through troubled thoughts & fog
I miss the warmth of your toes on mine
and the light that radiates from your sweet eyes
If she is the one for you, I pray she stays & loves you forever.

--written in Kings Mountain Hospital
11.27.07